Let’s not forget that, for a while at least, most of us are at the same time, fathers, and children to our own fathers and mothers.
The complexity of the situation is tremendous because we as parents already have some baggage, some of which may not be that easy to carry. We take our childhood and our own relationship with our parents as the only reliable source of inspiration in all we do as parents. Yes I say a source of inspiration, however, inspiration takes us on paths that are often unpredictable, even baffling to ourselves, let alone to other people.
Again, I believe that all fathers love their children and sincerely want the best for them. That’s instinct. All parents have good intentions, however that doesn’t mean that their actions will always have a good effect on the wellbeing and the becoming of their offspring. Do we put a lot of effort into looking after our children, especially when they’re little? Yes we do! Do we feel a sense of sacrifice from time to time? Yes we do. Do we feel children as a burden from time to time? Yes we do. Do we inflict or try to inflict too much or too little discipline on them? Yes we do, and we don’t quite know what’s right. It’s a game of trial and error, adapting very fast to a fluid and challenging relational situation. And not all of us are much adaptable or aware. One has to love to be like that in order to be like that as a father. Maybe a good father just never grows up, not even when much older.